My Year. (Part 2)

Along with all the wonderful days out we've had and the wonderful scenery we've seen, we also got to have a lot of fun together as a family. We're quite easily entertained; playing drawing games and general knowledge type games are our go to things for rainy days. We also went for a walk in the woods one day and ended up having a 6 mile adventure when we got lost. My dad was adamant that what we were looking for was "just around the corner..."  But there's only so many miles he can say that for before it loses all it's weight. My mum plonked herself on a bench and said she wasn't going any further and that we'd have to sleep there for the night. :) Needless to say, we got back eventually! I was so proud of myself for walking so far, having been so incredibly unfit for years... But the first thing my dad did when we found civilisation again was to get fish and chips. :)

Another life changer for me over the past year and a half has been to eat healthier. I'd been piling on the weight for a long time and it was really making me miserable. In the year and a half I've lost (almost) 4 stone and I feel so much better. I can walk further without so much weight being put on my knees and I feel a lot healthier. I do tend to eat really bad things when we're eating out, but I try and do better when I'm at home. (Aside from Ice Cream now and then... I live by the sea, it can't be avoided!) I'm not a very good cook and have been learning as I go. I really should invest in some more cookbooks for low fat meals!

Have taken lots of photos of myself too. I didn't notice the weight changes so much just by looking in the mirror... It's only silly things like suddenly realising my fingers look "boney" when I'm busy felting and my favourite (and only) rings are now too big to wear, or wondering why I now have collarbones when I didn't before! So by looking at photos, I've seen the changes better. I also love taking photos and I am always available when I need a model. :) I still have 1 or 2 stone more to lose, but I am getting there. :)

28 Shades of Red! (Hair.)

There was another reason I was taking plenty of photos though. There was someone else who wanted to see bits of my life. Someone I met online in 2005 and who I consider a best friend. 

When I wasn't getting out much I was on the computer a lot, and I played a multiplayer role playing game. I met him there and we soon became friends and it didn't take long to see that we were falling for each other. He lives in England and through all my shyness and lack of confidence, we agreed to meet up. He was to travel to Scotland to see me and would rent somewhere near to where I lived. I've never really felt comfortable around anyone in a long time, there's always something making me worry about being myself... But not so with him. I was still shy of course, but it's hard to be hiding in a shell with someone who makes you feel so at ease. Sadly at the time I didn't have much of a life, I had no job, lived at home still, not having great health stopped me from working, I didn't even like myself very much... I didn't have anything solid to contribute to the relationship. So he went back home and we hoped that we could figure something out in time, but it became so difficult with the distance and with me not knowing how to change my self and my own life so that I could have something to offer. I didn't realise that all the strain was on him to make it all happen. I was naive to think that if people love each other... It'll just somehow work.

We did meet up a few more times over the years and when it wasn't tearing us to bits with the pain of it all, we kept in touch as best we could. I made a LOT of mistakes over the years but I've been learning from things and hopefully growing and becoming a better person. When I moved here he was a lifesaver with the support and encouragement he gave me, not to mention through the tough times when I was struggling to find somewhere to live. If not for him and my parents, I'd definitely not be here now. I'm not a brave person, determined if it's something I really believe in, yes, but that's not enough, I needed the support too... And the advice, I knew nothing about life or paying bills or any of it!

He came to visit me last October, and I'd not seen him in a few years. He fitted so easily into my life here and we're now closer than ever. I can love him better now because I have more love for myself, and although I don't have a lot of money to offer, I do have things to contribute now. So we can be equals.

And so, next month, I am leaving my little flat because it is too small for us both. We have found a little bungalow in a different coastal village and although I am freaking out about the higher rent costs and bills and all sorts of things... I am finally going to be with him. :)

I hope to blog a lot more in the future... Probably after we've moved and are settled in though. I'd like to keep a record of our life together because after everything we've been through to get to this point, it feels important to write the good things down. I'll always be taking lots of photos, and I'll have new bears and things to share also. 

Thanks for reading and take care. Xxx