It's been a rough week for me. In fact, it's been a bit of a rough year so far. I've felt like I've had one illness after another but ask me what I've had and I can't actually tell you. Sometimes I think I have a cold, and sometimes a bug but they never really amount to anything... Just makes me feel ill and oh so tired. I think in some ways it's worse as it hangs about longer that way while my body tries to fight it off.
As someone with a chronic illness, I am suceptible to depression and when I am more tired than usual or feeling ill or run down it hits me quite hard sometimes. I've spent many a day in bed, keeping to myself as I have nothing to talk about and nothing good to say. I have been known to cry for no reason that I can explain. Sometimes sleeping is the only option as anything else just isn't right. It's hard to focus. I've tried to read or watch tv programmes but sometimes these things seem too difficult. Sometimes I haven't wanted to do anything at all. Sometimes I've not even wanted to be here.
But it does always pass, and I think (hope) this batch is now passing. I'm still tired, which in turn makes me unhappy and to feel happier I need to do things that I enjoy which include my needle felting, crochet and walking... Most of which are difficult or impossible when I'm so tired. Sometimes having a shower or cooking a meal is too much and it sets me back a few steps, and takes me a day or 2 longer to recover which can mean I'm constantly adding more days onto my recovery time just by doing day to day stuff! It can be beyond frustrating. Which of course makes the depression worse which in turn makes me even more tired.
I don't know how I would have coped without Martin. He's done all the meals and dishes recently and he's been so patient (while not really knowing what's been wrong with me or what to do about it) and I've been nothing but distant and grumpy with him. Not intentionally at all, and even at my lowest I am so grateful to him for everything, even on the days when I've been incredibly irritable and his tea slurping makes me want to punch something/one. :) He's definetely an amazing person and I'm very lucky!
I tried to get back to my felting a few days ago and I really wanted something cheerful and pretty to make. It kinda had to be a unicorn!
I decided on a nice lemon colour for her as it was nice and sunshiny. (Which after being so miserable seemed a good idea.) The purple seemed to go nice with it so she got purple hair. (Purple always makes things better!)
I'd already made a batch of gold horns with polymer clay a few weeks ago and I thought it would look good with the yellow. She also has a gold heart on the side of her head. :)
I worked on her over a few days (as to not overdo it and make my recovery slower) and I managed to finish her today.
I love how she turned out and once again I feel so lucky to be able to make things like her. I still have so much to learn but I really do enjoy it. If I had more energy I'd make so many things! I'd have a house full I'm sure.
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